My Brief Calling as Gospel Doctrine Teacher

I posted on Facebook yesterday about my experience as Gospel Doctrine Teacher for a week. My Dad emailed me and asked me what happened, so I thought I'd share it with those who want to know more.

So I was called to teach gospel doctrine and my first lesson was #33, "Sharing the Gospel with the World." The purpose of the lesson was this: “To encourage class members to fulfill their responsibilities as latter-day Israel to love all the people of the world and share the blessings of the gospel with them." I shared this with my class.

This is a lesson we've all heard about missionary work, but I took a different angle, especially with what's going on with some close friends and family. Rather than reciting the standard, "Let's go do missionary work" in the traditional sense, I focused on how to share the gospel with people who have left the church. I began my lesson with my testimony: that I am unsure about the gospel, God, Christ, and Joseph Smith, but I hope with all of my heart that it is true.

Then I explained a trend I've seen in the gospel. The prophets teach doctrine, but that doctrine struggles to be communicated purely when it comes to the local level because we add our own twists on things. As Latter-day Saints, we need to ask hard questions and close the gap between what is taught from the prophets and what is taught from local leadership. The only way to do so is to ask those questions with humility. What is just as scary as people asking those questions without the spirit and leaving are the people who don’t ask any questions at all. This is where the parable of the Ten Virgins (Matt. 25:1-12) comes into play: 50% of active, temple-going, tithe-paying, members of the church will not be ready for the coming of the Lord because they didn’t ask questions.

(I suggested that one of the ways false doctrine begins and spreads is when a teacher is asked a question in Sunday School and doesn't know the answer but tries to answer it anyways. I suggested that it is ok to not know the answer, and we are counselled to ask questions.)

I continued my lesson about Jonah and the whale and how he was angry with the Lord for eventually forgiving the people of Nineveh after Jonah taught them. I asked the class to think of times when they are angry with someone and then try to understand why they are angry. I taught them that anger is a secondary emotion, and we always feel an emotion before we feel anger. So that begs the question: what do we feel before we feel anger towards others?

I then turned to the practical part of the lesson. On each building it has the words engraved in stone, "Visitors Welcome." I asked the class if we really believe that. I asked them how we would feel if someone different than us wanted to worship with us. Or someone with a different lifestyle with which we disagree. I used a concrete example of an openly gay couple wanting to sit in sacrament meeting. I said that they didn't want to be baptized, and we wouldn't let them because they aren't living our standards, but they do want to experience the church, so do we accept them? (I also referenced Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk “Come, Join with Us.”) I had one student share how happy she was when her brother and his partner came to church for her daughter's baby blessing. It was really cool.

Then I had someone ask if we should love and accept ISIS if they burst through the door with a bomb. After internally sighing, I said it does depend on their intent, and we are also asked to defend ourselves. Then I said God commands us to love everyone (Matt. 22:36-39) and forgive everyone (D&C 64:10). It is up to God to judge them. He said, "I'd rather bomb them into spirituality." I told him he is welcome to believe that, but he should remember that he is also responsible for the choices he makes concerning the salvation of other people. I ended the class testifying that we need to not only engrave "Visitors Welcome" on our buildings, but we need to engrave it in our hearts as well.

Since Sacrament meeting is last, I had not yet been sustained and would be right after class. I wasn't. The next Sunday I was called into the bishop's office.

I sat down with the bishop and a counselor. They asked me what I taught and why I taught it. I explained it to them like I did above. What happened next was really frustrating. The bishop seemed really appreciative of my lesson. He said that he feels my type of teaching should happen more often and people should be faced with the parts of the gospel that sometimes make them uncomfortable. He told me he likes the way I teach and how I am able to articulate certain aspects of the gospel in a way that makes sense to people.

Then he told me he had several people come talk to him about my lesson, but he didn't go into specifics as to what they said. He simply told me that they decided to not extend the calling to me. He asked me how I felt. First I explained that the scripture that came to my mind was in 1 Nephi 16:2 about how the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, and it's sad that people use that scripture to talk about other people and not themselves. Then I told him that there is a trend in the church right now separating the culture of the church with the doctrine of the church, and I whole-heartedly believe that he is making a decision based on the culture of the church and not the doctrine. He kind of smiled and said, "See, this is why I like the way you teach. There aren't many people who would come in here and tell us things like this." He then went on to explain that if it were up to him, he would have me teach because he feels people really need to hear the gospel in the way I teach it. He repeated this sentiment several times throughout the conversation. I finally interrupted him and said, "Bishop, I would regret leaving here and not saying this: this is your decision. You keep saying 'If this was up to me,' but it is up to you. This is your decision." He smiled again and reaffirmed that this is why he likes me.

He asked what I thought other people would think. I explained that I told them I was being called to be the gospel doctrine teacher since the counselor said I could tell them. I suggested that the people who are paying attention to what's going on will see that this is a decision based on culture and not doctrine, and the other people will say, "Good. I didn't like his lesson anyways." He said he was afraid that this might happen. I told him again that it is his decision to make.

He asked me how I would be, and what I thought of how people thought of me. I reassured him that how other people think of me is last on my list of things I care about. It's partially the reason I am able to say the things I can say. As for me, I am mostly disappointed. It sucks that it's such blatant, admitted evidence of what I feared about the ward, that the culture is more important than the doctrine. They asked if I'd accept a different calling, to which I said no. They want me to continue bringing up things like this as a student, but not a teacher, and how much they are worried about me. It was frustrating. They said I could always come and talk to them, so I offered the same in return. If they ever need someone to talk to in order to get a different view, I'd be willing.

Later that same day after church someone came and told me how many people are worried about me, how their hearts "bleed for me," and how much they are all praying for me. I didn't know how to take it. It was a very odd feeling.

Anyways, I've talked a lot about it with Crystal, and I've decided to take a break from Sunday School and Priesthood. I tried going yesterday, but I was just really annoyed and frustrated. I saw the same counselor and the bishop in the hallway and just turned around to avoid them. I'm not leaving the church at all, but for right now it is best for me to take a break. Crystal was struggling with it quite a bit when we first talked about it, but she agrees that I need some space first. Crystal is still struggling with it, but I cannot express just how grateful I am to her for being so understanding and supportive of me during this growing phase of my testimony. I am incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful woman as my wife.

After talking with her, I’ve decided to refocus my attention on my personal prayers and scripture study. For the past few months I've been going to church frustrated with what I thought was a culture dominating doctrine ward, and it hurt for it to be so bluntly affirmed. I want to go to church and feel the spirit, but for me to do that I need a break.