On Homosexuality and Gay Marriage

The class sat around the conference room table as the discussion continued, but my mind muted them out as I absorbed what our teacher just shared. For the three days of our Justice in Philosophy class we read, understood, and discussed the debate on homosexuality and gay marriage. I felt that though I am a Mormon, I had a fairly open and liberal stance on the matter: basically, who am I to say someone else’s love is not worthy to be called marriage? I can’t.

During Prop 8 in California (2008) the Church called upon the students of BYU-Idaho to staff call centers that called residents in California to encourage them to keep the definition of marriage as man and wife, male and female. When my roommates and I talked about it in our living room at the Abode House, I decided I wouldn’t participate because I felt unable to tell others how to live.

I learned in class that the Church asked our teacher to be one of their voices during Prop 8. He shared with us in class that the First Presidency offered him two pieces of advice: first, this is the Lord’s Church and the Lord’s people, and He knows what is happening. He is aware. Second, the Lord is using this to see where His people stand, and how His people will act.

My heart sank when he told this to us. I knew that I did not follow the prophet during that time, and I failed to act. What made things worse is that after all of our class discussions from the previous two or three days, I still decided that I would fail to act if we were asked again.

After studying Justice, I could not rightly say that the government has the ability dictate who can and cannot be married. We read arguments for both sides, and we related them to the philosophers we studied and what the prophets teach about governments.

John Locke, in his “Two Treatise on Government,” taught about something called delegatble rights. We have the ability to give the government rights we already own, but we cannot give the government rights we do not have. I have the right to marry whoever I decide to marry, but I do not have the right to tell someone else who he or she can or cannot marry.

In his book, God, Families, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties, Ezra Taft Benson, the president and prophet of the LDS Church from 1985-94, reiterates Lockean philosophy, “The important thing to keep in mind is that the people who have created their government and can give to that government only such powers as they themselves have in the first place. Obviously, they cannot give that which they do not possess.” I understand this to mean simply as I stated before, who am I to say someone else’s love is not worthy to be called marriage? I can’t.

Now with both sides of the debate and different philosophers discussed, I rephrased my thoughts: I do not believe the government should forbid gay marriage because we teach and preach equality, and by denying others that gift of marriage, we grossly discriminate.

After class, I did not know how to reconcile my beliefs of Justice with the will of the Lord through His church. I was torn. The next day, I woke up early still thinking about it, still struggling. Then I realized two things: I did what the Lord expects of me, and I failed when the Lord called me to action.

Ezra Taft Benson, along with many others from all sides of all issues, taught that we must study each side of the debate in order to make a decision. I learned the different sides of the argument of homosexuality and gay marriage with an open mind, and after my study, my initial feeling stood strengthened. But when asked to perform the will of the Lord by calling residents of California, I failed.

I debated in my head what I would do if the circumstances provided another proposition. I came to this conclusion: 1) I believe that a government must be limited in its ability to dictate how people live; 2) I believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s kingdom on this earth, and he has called prophets to guide His people, and no matter how I feel or how I believe, I will follow the prophet. I know this is true because I have read the Book of Mormon. I know that book is true, and if that book is true, then God has prophets on the earth, and they know more than I do.

I know some will think my decision is ridiculous, but that is ok. It is true of any and all philosophy or religious belief that when you are backed into a corner with the constant question of “Why?”, then the ultimately common and consistent response for all is “Because I do. That is what I believe.”